They were brought together after Stein's rabbi moved to Baltimore from Australia. The rabbi's wife knew a friend of Goldfinger's mother, and that's all it took for wheels to start turning. After being told about Stein, Goldfinger requested more information.
That got garbled into a message that she was willing to go out, which soon put her in an awkward conversation. I decided he wasn't unusual enough," she recalls. He'd been told I wanted to go out. What Goldfinger regards as the "standard yeshiva guy" -- someone pursuing a worldly career simply because their parents are afraid they'll starve with an education in Talmud alone -- is acceptable to many Orthodox women.
Margie Pensak, one of about six traditional matchmakers in Baltimore, has nearly clients, about 90 percent of them Orthodox. Working for a small registration fee to cover her expenses mostly long-distance phone calls , Pensak says she often feels like a "waitress taking orders.
Some people who have used matchmakers are put off by being reduced to a paragraph of statistics "like the back of a baseball card -- I'm deeper than that," says one Baltimore man. Others are content to find "the generic Orthodox Jew -- kosher home, observe the Sabbath, Torah study and raising kids to go to yeshiva," says Pensak. Generic just wasn't going to do for Goldfinger, who comes from a very observant yet whimsical and open-minded Hasidic family -- a woman whose independent thinking is symbolized by her choice of Catholic-run Loyola College for a biology degree.
She knew her bashert had to be Hasidic -- someone given to wearing satin caftans and round fur hats, who favored oil to light the Sabbath candles over wax -- but beyond that she "couldn't put into words" her notion of a soul mate. From the 20 or so dates she had before meeting Stein, she knew what she didn't want.
There was the art museum date, with a guy who "walked by all the pictures I wanted to see. There was the minute "sit-in" around the dining room table with a devoutly Hasidic man while her parents entertained his parents in the next room. And then she found herself having dinner with Stein without having seen him. But four months and nine dates later, after long evenings talking in hotel lobbies, they were engaged. My job was to meet a number of girls before I met the right one," says Stein, an Australian studying in New York.
I went out with good-looking girls and not such good-looking girls. They were all nice girls, fine Orthodox girls. But you want someone with the same ideas as you. Rivkah had the right combination of all of them. Stein plans to become a pulpit rabbi while Goldfinger is about to embark on medical school, an arduous beginning for any marriage.
Ted Friedman also thinks being a doctor is great and has been looking for someone to share a doctor's life for about five years. The music on his home telephone answering machine has Bruce Springsteen singing: "I just want someone to talk to and a little of that human touch. The year-old endocrinologist from Los Angeles, who became observant as a teen-ager, has had well over a hundred dating adventures, ranging from a Chinese convert he encountered on the Internet to a mountain climber he met in Alaska with a Jewish hiking club.
He'd exhausted at least one matchmaker in Los Angeles before meeting Pensak at a religious retreat for singles. A few weeks ago, Pensak set Friedman up with seven dates over two days, all in New York. None panned out. Many of the very observant women he's been out with weren't educated enough for him, and many of the professional women were not religious enough. For now, it's back to Pensak the matchmaker, who has 12 marriages to her credit since When a match ends in a marriage, it is traditional for the bride and groom to buy the shadkhan a gift.
Enter into the love relationship with your eyes open, not with your eyes closed. Fall in love with the real person inside the skin. All this is a matter of decency, honesty and fairness to yourself, to the other person involved, and to your family and Jewish tradition. It is a pre-condition of authentic and lasting love.
If you take the romantic love angle too seriously, you will lose your proper place in the marital relationship and, with it, lose your dignity and your role as master of your destiny. Young men, too, often employ a trickery more harmful and more dangerous than that employed by women. There is no ultimate danger if a girl employs her femininity to charm a young man into turning a fleeting interest into a more serious one. Young men, however, sometimes deceive a young woman into thinking that they are in love, while all they want is a physical relationship.
Intimacy without true love, commitment and permanence is a price too high to pay. Why does Jewish Tradition demand that the relationship between men and women before marriage stop at the point of physical contact? Just prior to her marriage ceremony she removes the nidah status, in accordance with Jewish law, by immersing herself in the waters of a mikveh a body of water used only for spiritual sanctification , and may then be approached by her husband.
As a married woman she becomes nidah once again with each onset of a menstrual period, and marital relations must then be suspended until she immerses herself, once more, in a mikveh, at least one week after the completion of each menstrual period. It will be acknowledged, even by those unaware of this law, that the sense of touch in male-female relationships often constitutes a type of borderline where simple association begins to pass from the area of friendship into the area of intimacy.
In any male-female relationship, it is easier to maintain self control up to the point of physical contact because, from the moment of contact on, control becomes much more difficult. A physical relationship is an essential element in the binding together of two people in marriage. Before marriage, however, physical contact has the effect of forging bonds without sincere commitment. Some people will claim, with reasonable justification, that some of the social practices which Jewish law prohibits, such as hand holding, social dancing, and good-night kissing, are simply matters of form or social grace, which people perform without attaching to them any great significance.
It is precisely this point that we are attempting to make. Jewish society cannot tolerate a situation where a young woman, or a young man lets her or himself be used, taken advantage of, or hurt. Nor can we accept, for all the casualness of society, that kissing, or any form of expressing affection, can ever be regarded lightheartedly or as a game or social grace.
Most people who have dated know that even a casual good-night kiss is just a beginning. The nature of kissing and touching is such that it calls for more and more. If dating is limited to conversation, then each successive date can bring new and more stimulating conversation, and a greater interplay of personality.
But if dating implies even the most casual physical contact, it is natural that on each date you will want to have more; each partner will feel impelled to give a little more, to let down a few more barriers, until there is little left to surrender. The result is a transaction in which the young woman is selling herself cheaply, and all too often, suffers a loss of self-respect, self-worth, self-esteem, and in many instances the breaking of the relationship.
In order to master the fire of attraction rather than be consumed by it, Judaism teaches the virtue and value of tsnius or modesty. The body should always be properly and tastefully covered, in order to preserve a sense of dignity, worth and self-respect, rather than openly flaunted and thus debased.
To the Jew, tsnius is a major element of true beauty. True beauty lies not in what we reveal but in that which we conceal. Only a body properly clothed, not openly flaunted, is a fitting vessel for containing the true human beauty which lies beneath the surface of the physical self. True feminine beauty has little in common with the artificial image of beauty projected by American cosmetic firms, television screens and advertising industries. The notion that true beauty, allure or happiness is determined by the extent to which a girl approaches the ideal in a physical sense is so much deceptive nonsense.
The ideal is an arbitrary and often cruel standard that causes much needless unhappiness for those who take it too seriously, and as a result become slaves to a stereotyped notion of beauty. Real feminine beauty is a highly subjective, personal matter.
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Reform Judaism : Reform Judaism is considered a liberal category of the religion that values ethical traditions over strict observance of Jewish laws. Followers promote progressive ideas and adaptation. Typically, conservative Jews honor the traditions of Judaism while allowing for some modernization.
Reconstructionist Judaism : Reconstructionism dates back to when Mordecai Kaplan founded the Society for the Advancement of Judaism. Humanistic Jews celebrate Jewish history and culture without an emphasis on God. Passover : This holiday lasts seven or eight days and celebrates Jewish freedom from slavery in Egypt.
Rosh Hashanah : Jews celebrate the birth of the universe and humanity during this holiday, which is also known as the Jewish New Year. The High Holy Days are considered a time of repentance for Jewish people. Hanukkah commemorates the rededication of the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem after the Maccabees defeated the Syrian-Greeks over 2, years ago.
Purim : This is a joyous holiday that celebrates a time when the Jewish people in Persia were saved from extermination. Religion: Judaism. Ancient Jewish Texts. My Jewish Learning. The Jewish Denominations. What is Judaism? Jewish Sacred Texts. Israel Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Jewish Population. Judaism But if you see something that doesn't look right, click here to contact us! Subscribe for fascinating stories connecting the past to the present. Since , the word has taken on a new and horrible meaning: the ideological and systematic state-sponsored The instability created in Europe by the First World War set the stage for another international conflict—World War II—which broke out two decades later and would prove even more devastating.
Rising to power in an economically and politically unstable Germany, Adolf Auschwitz, also known as Auschwitz-Birkenau, opened in and was the largest of the Nazi concentration and death camps. Located in southern Poland, Auschwitz initially served as a detention center for political prisoners. However, it evolved into a network of camps where Hitler capitalized on economic woes, popular discontent and political infighting to take absolute power in Germany beginning in Before arriving at the death camp, she had been stuffed into a train car on a seemingly endless journey from Hungary.
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