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Single and not interested in dating

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I know that maybe I just had bad experiences with those specific men, but if I couldn't make a marriage work with the man I was married to, the one who I thought I would be with forever, the person I decided to start a family with—then I'm going to be picky about who I choose to let into my life.

I want to be alone and I'm okay with that. I'm a single mom with a full-time job and a part-time weekend job when my daughter is with her dad. I have a neverending to-do list of things to replace or clean around the house. I don't have time for anyone or anything else. I want to have time for myself. Some nights I enjoy going out with friends, but some nights I want to stay in and read a book. Sure, being alone does get lonely sometimes, but right now I am prioritizing learning to love myself and my time alone.

My daughter is my number one priority. I don't get to spend as much time with her as I would love to because I work full-time and now every other weekend she goes to her dad's house. I want to soak up every second I have with her—every giggle, every storytime before bed, every bath time, every meal together—everything.

I also want to run a half marathon one day. I want to hike more, eventually. I want to plant a garden, paint the banister in the hallway, start a blog. There are so many things I've been saying I'm going to do and I want to start marking them off my list. I need to focus my priorities on things I want to do, and dating just isn't one of them. It isn't that I haven't tried dating. I have and it wasn't for me. When I'm ready to date again, I will know, but right now I'm dating myself and trying to learn who I am as a single mom.

My daughter deserves the best possible version of me and I'm going to find her before I bring anyone else into my life. Menu SHOP. About Us Careers. Shop New Arrivals. Experiences Digital Services. Well, I was wrong. Here's why: 1. I'm trying to figure it all out.

In This Article. Have a question for Motherly? Ask us! Of all those single people—people not currently married or in a serious romantic relationship—exactly half, 50 percent, said that they were not looking for a romantic relationship or even a date. Only 14 percent said they wanted a committed romantic relationship and not just something casual. The findings I have summarized so far were averaged across all single people.

But unmarried people are quite a diverse group. Are there differences among single people in who is most uninterested in romantic partnering? When I reviewed five previous studies , I found one strong and consistent finding: People who have tried marriage before they are divorced or widowed are especially unlikely to want to try it again. The new study, which asked a broader question about interest in romantic partnering not just marriage , found the same thing.

Remember that across all single people, whether previously married or always single, 50 percent said they were uninterested in a romantic relationship or even a date. For divorced people, that number was 56 percent and for the widowed, it was a striking 74 percent.

Only the people who had never tried marriage were more likely to be interested in romantic partnering than uninterested 38 percent were uninterested. The high level of disinterest among the widowed suggests that age could also be a factor, and it is. Three-quarters of people 65 and older are completely uninterested in a romantic relationship or dating. For the to year-olds, the percentage is the same as for the sample as a whole—half are uninterested.

Among the younger groups, fewer people express no interest at all in romantic relationships or dating, but the percentages are still substantial—39 percent for the to year-olds and 37 percent for the to year-olds.

More women than men have no interest in romantic relationships or dating. The difference becomes even greater at older ages. At ages 40 and above, more than 7 in 10 women 71 percent are completely uninterested in dating or romantic relationships, compared to 42 percent of men. Among the younger adults, the difference is just 39 percent for the women, compared to 33 percent for the men.

These findings tell the same story as previous studies of gender differences in experiences of single life. In one of my previous posts here at Living Single, I critiqued a study that tried to figure out why men stay single based on just one flaming Reddit thread. Not that you could easily tell that from the published version of the article.

The Pew researchers were a bit more even-handed. First, their recruitment efforts targeted a national sample. And second, they did not rely on a Reddit thread to generate the possible answers. By far, the two most popular answers the national sample of U. The younger adults under the age of 50 were especially likely to say that they have more important priorities; 61 percent of them said that, compared to 38 percent of the older adults.

The older adults 50 and over were especially likely to say that they just liked being single; 46 percent of them said that, even more than the 38 percent who said they have more important priorities. A very substantial number of the younger adults, 41 percent, also said that they just liked being single. The men and women were very similar in 7 of the 8 reasons for their lack of interest in romantic partnering.

The one difference was in their fear that no one would be interested in them; more men than women worried about that, 26 percent vs. Mental blanketing is my term for the relentless and pervasive glorifying of marriage and shaming of single people. I described it in detail in Singled Out. The results of the Pew survey show that many single people are no longer feeling that pressure from society, especially as they get older.

Even those who are feeling it are not letting it get to them. They are no more likely to be looking for a romantic relationship than people who are not feeling the pressure. Bella DePaulo, Ph. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine.

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