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Muslims in western countries may not be as traditional as those brought up in eastern countries. The type of dating and relationships pursued are often referred to as Halal dating. It tends to be a more relaxed form of Muslim dating. With Halal dating and dating in the western world, Muslim people are not waiting for their parents to arrange a marriage.
They are dating just like most other western people. This means joining dating websites, meeting people from work or school, and scheduling dates with various people to see who they might be compatible with. Muslims in the western world may not feel the same pressures as those in the eastern world when it comes to marriage.
It is common for western Muslims to focus on their career and develop skills when they are young. They may also feel that they will eventually meet someone, so why not enjoy being single now. If you are in a western country, when you start getting involved in Muslim dating with someone local, this is likely to be your experience. You will still find culture and tradition, but they likely will not be as strict. When you are dating a Muslim woman or dating a Muslim man following Halal dating, you may experience the following:.
Growing up, girls and boys fantasize that they will get into a relationship, especially as soon as they hit their freshman year. However, when it comes to Muslims dating Non-Muslims, things tend to become a little complicated for many reasons. Muslims come with various religious restrictions when it comes to premarital relationships. It limits their physical contact with the counterpart, and Muslims are more focused on developing emotional intimacy in a premarital relationship than a physical one.
They might kiss or hug occasionally, but Muslims will not be open to the idea of developing a full-blown physical relationship with the other half before marriage. Still, most Non-Muslims would want to do it. This is where things tend to become a little complicated for both people from either side of faith. They have a great way of balancing their religious obligations to the ones where their hearts are involved. According to various modern scholars, being in love with marriage expectations is a common kind of relationship in the modern world.
The same goes for dating Non-Muslims. As long as the individual belongs to the four faiths mentioned in the Quran, they would never face an issue regarding their faiths if they plan to get married. They get to know one another in an emotional premarital affair so they can marry the potential prospect. So that is where usually a line is drawn. But when it comes to a Non-Muslim dating a Muslim man, many things vary in this aspect. For instance, it completely depends on the kind of relationship one is looking for.
Another thing that a Muslim man might not be able to do is to satisfy his needs and desires, even in an oral manner. So if one belongs to Kitabbiyah and has emotionally connected to someone with the Islamic faith, it will be possible for her to get married to that man without changing her faith. A Muslim man is born and raised with many love and expectations, especially in the eastern countries. Dating someone who belongs to this faith from the Eastern region will mean that you will have to respect his family and love them as your own.
Still, you will have to understand that the man you have chosen for yourself has certain responsibilities that he must fulfill. Value his time and respect him if he chooses to spend some of his leisure periods with his family or by fulfilling his daily religious obligations.
Appreciate his existence and standby him like a rock. When it comes to dating a Muslim woman as a Non-Muslim, lines are drawn and quite restricted, ones that have no notion of being flexible. It is prohibited for a Muslim woman to have an interfaith marriage. She cannot be wed out of faith, and if she does get married, in Islamic POV, that marriage will have no religious existence. However, as far as dating goes, that is neither permissible nor forbidden.
For a Non-Muslim man, if he has fallen in love with a Muslim woman and hopes to marry her someday, he will have to convert to the Islamic faith because only then will the marriage be possible from the religious perspective. Also, dating a Muslim woman means that one can connect with her on an emotional level. Although, Muslim women raised in Western countries have a different outlook on certain aspects than the women raised in Eastern countries.
They are far more liberal and open to live-in relationships as compared to the women in the east. It again depends completely upon the woman herself that she is willing to lose to date a Non-Muslim man how much she follows religion and the ties.
You may connect with her emotionally and spiritually. Still, the ethical and right way to have a physical relationship is after marriage. A Muslim woman, one that has been raised in the eastern countries, will be far more gender role oriented as compared to the girls raised in western countries. You will have to understand that these girls come and are raised with certain expectations of them. Though these expectations sometimes are horrendous, you cannot argue with them about it.
If they want to spend time with family or do something in a certain way, give them the respect and appreciation they deserve for making that choice. You will also have to respect their privacy and not ask them to expose themselves because you love them and want to see them. This is something highly inappropriate, a deed that no Muslim woman should be made obliged to do. You will also have to respect their family and their religious obligations.
Check out our latest online dating site review of Muslima. It also includes refraining from committing sins and being true to their faith. Now, that includes abstaining from any haram relationship that they may have otherwise. Ramadan is a time where a lot of Muslims want to better themselves for good. That includes not committing any kind of sin and developing habits that are meant to last a lifetime. Here your male or female counterpart needs to educate you about their faith and how you both can grow into loving each other more.
Most people refrain from talking to their boyfriends or girlfriends during the time they fast because it may cause them to arouse, which will, in turn, cause their fast to nullify. This is a significant point to keep in mind. One can engage in physical activities if married after their fast has completed before they begin the next one. Dating during Ramadan also indicated that you could not indulge in any oral physical activities, i.
This aspect of relationships and individual needs is a huge debate in itself. You will also have to respect their love for their religion and all its activities. Ramadan is also that time of the year where you get more close to your family. So if your male or female partner wants to spend more time with their families, especially at dawn and dusk, then you must respect that.
One of the biggest foundations of Muslim life is the family. In the Quran, traditional marriage is commonly discussed. This has the woman in the marriage caring for the home and the man as the breadwinner. This does not mean that you and your Muslim partner must strictly abide by these traditions if you both agree to something different. Muslim families are often very close, so when you are dating a Muslim man or dating a Muslim woman, you will typically spend a lot of time with their family.
There is a chance that you might not be immediately accepted if you do not follow the Islamic religion. Because of this, as you continue to date, if your relationship is strong, you are likely to be accepted into the family, so be patient. Traditionally, Muslim parents are expected to raise their children as Muslims, be kind to them and provide for them. When a baby is born, it is common for Muslim parents to whisper a profession of faith into their ear, referred to as the Shahada.
In the western world, whether parents are expected to raise their children as Muslim varies. When you are dating a Muslim woman or dating a Muslim man, this is a conversation you will need to have early on. If you do not wish to convert to Islam, you and your partner must agree regarding religion in your home.
Children are expected to respect their parents and be dutiful. It also commands gratitude for what their parents do for them. Islam recommends that partners marry. Compared to the west, most of the fundamentals of marriage are the same. The one difference is that polygamy is allowed, and men can marry four women.
However, it is rare to see Muslims practicing polygamy in western countries. Divorce is allowed, and Islam recognizes that it can sometimes be necessary. Traditionally, the couple is asked to use a waiting period to ensure the wife is not pregnant before filing for a divorce. When you are dating a Muslim woman, there are a few facts to know. Muslim women prefer direct men. If you like her, you should show her. If she likes you, she will not be shy about spending time alone with you.
While subtler than flirting, it gets the point across that she is interested. Muslim women may be more traditional compared to other women. For example, they may be more likely to follow traditional gender roles. Because of this, you should practice chivalry when you are out with a Muslim woman. Women want to make their men happy when it comes to intimacy. However, if you are dating a very traditional Muslim woman, there is a chance that she will not engage in sex before you two are married.
If you are seeking a long-term relationship with her, this must be respected. Before getting started with dating a Muslim man, there are a few things you should know. Muslim men can be very traditional, so expect chivalry when you are dating. A few daughters of Saudi diplomats, raised and educated abroad, are also known to have received Kingly dispensation for marriage to Europeans. Most Saudi women who are married to Westerners tend to reside abroad with their husbands.
American spouses fall into two broad categories: those who are married to well-off, westernized Saudis, and those who are married to not-well-off and non-westernized Saudis. Both meet their husbands when they are students in the U.
The former tend to maintain homes in the Kingdom and in the West, they socialize with other dual-national couples, they send their children abroad for college education sometimes high school , travel frequently, and while in the Kingdom have the luxuries of drivers, servants, and villas separate from where the Saudi in-laws reside. Their husbands permit them to appear before men to whom they are not related, accept—if not encourage—their desire to find employment and generally do not require them to veil fully i.
The women are allowed to travel separately with the dual-national children. The women may or may not have converted to Islam; their conversion may or may not be sincere. These represent the minority of dual-national marriages. Typically, their only driver will be their husband or another male family member , their social circle with be the extended family, and they will not be permitted to work or appear uncovered among men to whom their husband is not related.
Initially, the American citizen spouse will be almost entirely isolated from the large western community that resides in the Kingdom. Gradually, the spouses who survive form a network with other American citizen women married to Saudis. The majority of American citizen spouses fall into this category.
In other words, the Saudi-American relationship virtually always blossoms in the States, in a climate that allows dating, cohabitation, children out of wedlock, religious diversity, and a multitude of other Islamic sins which go unnoticed by Saudi relatives and religious leaders thousands of miles away. American citizen wives swear that the transformation in their Saudi husbands occurs during the transatlantic flight to the Kingdom.
There is the universal recollection of approaching Riyadh and witnessing the donning of the black abayas and face veils by the fashionably dressed Saudi women. For many women, the Saudi airport is the first time they see their husband in Arab dress i. For those American women reluctant to wear an abaya the all-encompassing black cloak and for those Saudi husbands who did not make an issue of the abaya prior to arriving, the intense public scrutiny that starts at the airport—given to a western woman who is accompanying a Saudi male—is usually the catalyst for the eventual covering up.
Since the overwhelming majority of American citizen wives never travel to the Kingdom prior to their marriage, they are abruptly catapulted into Saudi society. Whether a Saudi has spent one year or eight studying in the United States, each must return to the fold—grudgingly or with relief—to get along in Saudi society and within the family hierarchy that structures most social and business relations.
Social pressures on even the most liberal Saudi are daunting. Shame is brought upon the entire family for the acts of an American citizen wife who does not dress modestly e. Several American wives, fearing the latest round of religious harassment, have started fully veiling; not to do so, they discovered, meant public squabbles with the Mutawwaiin who vociferously oppose dual-national marriages. The experience of all dual-national couples is that voluntary and involuntary compromises are made or simply evolve.
The sum of these compromises is quite often a life very different than the one imagined and speculated upon in the safety of the United States. Quality of Life. All American wives encourage prospective brides to meet the Saudi family before arriving in the Kingdom as a married woman.
Most Saudi families will travel to the U. While it is no guarantee of acceptance, a family that regularly travels abroad or one in which the father has been stationed abroad is generally more broad-minded when it comes to their son marrying a Westerner. It is the parents who can be the greatest source of pressure on a dual-national marriage, and it is important to divine their opinions on what an American wife can and cannot do while living in the Kingdom. With whom will you live?
Privacy is elusive and tensions with family members who for one reason or another resent the presence of an American wife often make this living arrangement difficult. In a more affluent family, a couple may inhabit one of several homes that comprise a small family compound. Some Saudis live separately in villas or apartments.
While that resolves the issue of privacy, many American wives find themselves completely isolated during the day, surrounded by neighbors who only speak Arabic, with no access to public or private transportation. One tolerably married American citizen wife is not permitted to step out on the apartment porch since the risk is too great that an unrelated male would be able to see her.
The most western, but least common, housing arrangement would be an apartment or villa located in a western compound or on the Diplomatic Quarter. There, a semblance of western suburban life goes on behind high walls or, in the case of the Diplomatic Quarter, under the protective gaze of a multitude of Saudi police officers.
However, most Saudi owners of western style compounds ban Saudi tenants since they fear western inhabitants would object. The very rare Saudi male who endorses this living arrangement is generally a naturalized Saudi, of Lebanese or Palestinian origin. With whom will you socialize? Saudis socialize within the family. Expatriates who have lived and worked for years in the Kingdom may never meet the wife of a close Saudi friend and, according to custom, should never so much as inquire about her health.
Several American wives have difficulty even visiting the American Embassy for routine passport renewals since their husbands are opposed to their speaking to a male Foreign Service Officer. Because of the segregated society, Saudi men naturally spend much of their time together, separate from wives and family.
Even Saudi weddings are segregated affairs, often held on different evenings and in different locations. Only the most westernized Saudi will commit to socializing with other dual-national couples. What freedom of movement will you enjoy? Women are prohibited from driving, riding a motorcycle, pedaling a bicycle, or traveling by taxi, train, or plane without an escort.
All American wives were aware that they would not be able to drive while in the Kingdom, but few comprehended just how restricted their movements would be. Only the relatively affluent Saudi family will have a driver on staff; most American women depend entirely upon their husbands and male relatives for transportation. While most expatriate western women routinely use taxis, an American spouse will be expected to have an escort—either another female relative or children—before entering the taxi of an unrelated male.
Will you be permitted to travel separately from your husband? Travel by train or plane inside the Kingdom requires the permission of the male spouse and the presence of a male family escort. Travel outside the Kingdom is even more restricted.
Everyone leaving the Kingdom must have an exit visa. For an American spouse, this visa must be obtained by her Saudi husband. The Saudi spouse must accompany his wife to the airport to assure airport officials that he has given his permission for his wife to travel alone or with the children. Most American wives believe that the U. Embassy can issue exit visas in a pinch. This is not the case. The U. Embassy cannot obtain exit visas for American citizens.
Passports issued by the Embassy are worthless as travel documents without the mandatory Saudi exit visa. While some more affluent American relatives offer to pay for the American wife to travel independently, this often meets with disapproval from the Saudi husband or family. Will you be permitted to work? There are two hurdles an American wife must overcome before finding work outside the home: the disapproval of the family and the paucity of employment opportunities.
Most husbands will not approve of a wife working outside the home if it entails contact with unrelated men. One American wife, who was a teacher in the U. Now that she was married, the Saudi husband could not tolerate her being in the presence of other men. However, even if the husband is willing, the jobs are few. Employment is generally restricted to the fields of education teaching women only and medicine.
Unfortunately, there is a tremendous social bias against the nursing profession and Saudi husbands would not approve of a wife working with patients, except in the position of a physician. Will your husband take a second wife? Among the younger generation, it is rare for a Saudi to have a second wife but it does occur. A man is legally entitled up to four wives, with the proviso that he is able to financially and emotionally accord them equal status.
One American wife discovered that her Saudi husband had married her best friend, also an American, while he was on vacation in the U. In principle, all Saudi men must marry Muslims or converts to Islam. In practice, many American women blur the issue, participating in a Sharia wedding ceremony but never actually converting. The pressure to become a Muslim, or to be come a sincere Muslim, is enormous and never-ending. There is no separation of church and state in Saudi Arabia, and at the popular level there is simply no comprehension of religious freedom, of the desire to remain Christian or undecided.
For another, the pressure comes mainly from her children who are mercilessly teased at school for having a foreign, non-Muslim mother. Half-hearted converts to Islam find that their children are ridiculed for having mothers who pray awkwardly or not at all.
Saudi Arabia has one of the highest birthrates in the world and families with five or more children are the norm. The family is the basic unit of Saudi life and family members have much closer relations than in the United States. Siblings—particularly an older brother—are expected to financially aid each other, and males must band together to guard the honor of their female relations.
What are the differences in child raising? To a much greater degree than in the West, Saudi children are indulged. Little girls are dressed in miniature prom dresses; little boys wear the latest in western sport togs. Both wreak havoc. American wives must suffer silently when the children of various relations run riot through the house.
When she scolded the child, she was in turn scolded for making a fuss about something that could be cleaned. On the other hand, the Saudi family is replete with babysitters and children always have young and old playmates with whom to mix. Because foreign labor is so cheap in Saudi Arabia, even lower middle class families will have an Indonesian or Filipino housemaid to help with the chores.
Among the very affluent Saudi families and particularly within the royal family, each child will generate its own servant. Many American mothers are frustrated by the dearth of things to do with their children. Absent a driver, mothers are cooped up at home with the children and, even with a driver, there are few venues to visit.
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