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Despite the steamy scenes on ABC's hit show, Scandal and yes, I am a fan , most single black women are not dating white men and certainly not hunky white men who hold high government offices and are willing to risk all they have achieved for illicit love. Many single black women are instead finding themselves ignored in today's dating scene. While interracial marriage rates in this country have grown remarkably to 8.
And when people do venture across the color line to date, they do so in ways that continue to affirm a social hierarchy based on race in which whiteness is prized. White men are the most sought after dates by women of all groups except for African American women, who, researchers speculate, may rule out white men due to the fear of being stereotyped. White men can therefore afford to be the pickiest group in the online dating market; they respond to fewer overtures than other men on dating websites, and they have a strong preference for white women.
White women are less willing than white men to date outside of their racial group, but heavier-set white women are more willing to date black men, because, researchers Cynthia Feliciano, Belinda Robnett, and Golnaz Komaie of UC Irvine posit, of "racial-beauty exchange theory" -- the notion that a white woman who is less attractive by the measure of dominant Euro-American beauty standards is willing to "trade down" on the racial hierarchy by dating a black man.
By the same token, black men who date white women are "trading up" on the American racial hierarchy. Most striking to me in recent sociological studies about interracial dating and marriage, is that on every measure, African American women seem to come out at the bottom of the pile.
Black people as a whole intermarry with whites less frequently than other people of color do; and black women intermarry far less than black men. This is due in part to the unsettling evidence that many groups of men do not prefer black women.
According to data released by the online dating site OkCupid , black women perhaps due to politeness; perhaps due to the recognition of their less desirable status respond to more initial overtures than other groups; at the same time, black women's initial contacts are ignored most often. In today's dating market black women are less preferred -- and here is the kicker -- sometimes even by black men.
Social science researchers posit that black men's attraction to white women as evidenced by dating behavior and growing intermarriage rates is in part historically rooted. Because white women were taboo for black men for centuries in this country to the extent that black men could be lynched for the appearance of involvement with white women, access to white women may be more alluring for black men now.
Sociologists also find that because white Americans as a whole are still the most powerful racial group in this country politically, economically, and socially , non-whites seek to marry into that group in order to increase their own social status. As UC Berkeley sociologist Gerald Mendelsohn put it in an interview: "One theory is that blacks are acting like other minority populations in the history of this country.
They are interested in moving up in the power structure, and one way you do that is through intermarriage with the dominant group. These racial and gender preferences and the reasons behind them may not be conscious to people in the dating world, who, by and large, would probably decry bias against black women. Nevertheless, these preferences have real effects. While more black men date and marry white women than ever before, more black women cannot even get a first "chat" on Internet dating sites.
African American women are plagued by persistent, age-old stereotypes that represent them as too strong, argumentative and unfeminine. And as wonderful as they are, African American women can never measure up to the narrowly defined beauty ideals based on Euro-American aesthetics that are so firmly entrenched in this culture.
Even after the Black is Beautiful seventies, it is still the case that when African American women are upheld as beautiful in popular media, they usually have lighter skin, longer hair, and thinner body types that adhere more closely to those dominant standards.
First Lady Michelle Obama is a glowing exception to these daunting data and a beacon of beauty in this skewed aesthetic environment. The person who would become one of the most successful black men in the history of the world chose her, and she him. So to all of the African American women out there who feel like your shine is not being recognized, who feel a little pinch of rejection each time you see an accomplished black man with a white woman on his arm: take heart. We may be down in this cultural contest for love and appreciation, but we are not out.
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