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We started talking it up and I was using your CandF techniques. Eventually we exchanged numbers and went on our way. I waited a few days to call and when I finally did, she told me she was just thinking about me and was about to call. Anyway, we set up a time to meet later that night and go out for a drink.
I kept the conversation light and funny and she kept on laughing and coming back for more. I told her I had some where to be in about an hour so we had to get going and then I was totally blown away when she asked if I would like to hang out at her place and get a massage until it was time for me to go. I accepted and lets just say, I received more than a back massage in that 1 hour time span. I just want to say thank you Dave, and would like to share the story with others to encourage them to get out there and forget all their fears.
So I decided to move on, order your DYD book, and follow the advice in there. I focused more on the funny, with just enough cocky to give me an edge. Well, A. So, to make a long story short, A. This girl is the love of my life, and I thought that I had lost her forever.
To all the gentlemen who may be reading this who have not ordered the book yet, what the hell is your problem? Get it! It may just change your life. Peace out. There were so many things in it I realized before, but I never believed before I read your book. Then I thought about it and realized that way you said guys should act is the exact same way my friends who score a lot act.
She pulled me away for a private dance and after the song was over she asked me if it was good. She snickered and still wanted to know what I did. I went back out to my friend and he asked how was it, and said I was gone forever. I said it was all free and he was shocked. It was about closing time and since my friend drove I was waiting on him.
He said it was time to go and just as we were getting up that girl I got free things from said just wait. The bar closed and she came over with 4 of her friends. She then took me by the waist and pulled me out the back door to her car. Her, her four friends, and I went to her place. She again asked me what I did and told me that for every word I would say, her friends and her would do something kinky this was a test. She now calls me every other weekend and still wants to find out about what I do, and to hook up with Mr.
Sexy, ME. May your open mindedness and pursuit of excellence never cease, because it has inspired and changed me. I thank you. My story: For most of my life, I allowed a mental pattern of being shy toward women to dominate my mindset. After finishing the book I knew what I had to do about it, I had to change my thinking, and I knew I had to rewire my subconscious programming of limiting beliefs. Using the techniques Dave suggested, I started on that immediately, but in the meantime I was anxious to try out the other tools I learned from the book, so I used them on the Internet where I previously had pretty dismal results from women.
I feel like Hugh Hefner because previously I only ever saw one woman at a time and that was on rare occasions when I was lucky enough to find a date. I bought the book expecting to get tips on becoming better with women.
I do affirmations everyday and I like myself now. After doing the affirmations, something remarkable happened…I started avoiding those things that made me not like myself, and I started doing those things that made me like myself more. And guess what? The more I liked myself, the more the fear I had of women started to go away. Thanks Dave! The more that I use the attitude and tips that you wrote in your book, the more women respond to me.
Who knew that you could actually learn to be more successful with women from a book? And your two bonus reports are truly amazing. The hardest part of the relationship for me was the initial contact and up to first date. I n his book 'I nfluence' Robert Cialdini t alks about a psychological principle called t he 'Halo Effect. A wom an desires a m an t hat fit s int o her self im age fant asies t hat have been form ing since she was very young.
And t hanks t o Disney t hese fant asies were im bedded even furt her t han her genet ic wiring ever int ended. But if you can learn t o get a wom an's at t ent ion and t hen give her t he FEELI NGS t hat she's always want ed, she'll t reat you like you're fam ous, rich, and powerful as well. The good news is t hat you can do t his wit h m ost wom en, whereas you cannot wit h m ost m en.
While wom en are int erest ed in looks t o som e degree, t hey are MORE int erest ed in how you m ake t hem feel. Even if you don't underst and t his, you have t o believe it and st art act ing as t hough it 's t rue. You m ust behave as if you confident ly believe t hat you are t he best t hing for a wom an, and t hat you are going t o m ake her feel wonderful inside. Wom en can pick up t his part icular belief, and t hey respond t o it. Ask yourself: " How would I walk if I believed t hat I could m ake any wom an feel great inside?
When you're t alking t o a wom an, im agine how good you're going t o m ake her feel. Fake it t ill you m ake it. Just do it. Wom en will not ice. The Dark Side Of Beauty Underneat h all of t his, m ost of t hese powerful wom en have a 'shadow' or dark side. This dark side is secret ly want ing a m an t hat is in cont rol of him self, his realit y, and t hem. But t hey'd never adm it it - oft en not even t o t hem selves. But t heir unconscious knows and recognizes t his as som et hing t hat t hey want.
On t he t opic of m en giving gift s t o wom en and buying t hem t hings: Many wom en will t ake what is available t o t hem even if t hey have t o do a lit t le m anipulat ion for it , but t hey will ult im at ely resent and disrespect a m an t hat gives t oo m uch t o t hem. As a m at t er of fact , t o m ost hot wom en THEI R REALI TY is t hat m en kiss up t o t hem and t hat m en will give t hem what t hey ask for or dem and worst case, t hey have t o get upset or act bit chy t o get t heir way.
Men t hat don't fit t his are oft en j ust t uned out as if t hey didn't exist in order t o keep t his realit y as pure as possible for t hem. Also, I t hink t hat m any wom en harbor a cont em pt for t heir beaut y. At a shadow level, t hey are kept from living a real life and being closer t o t he real world sim ply because fewer and fewer people can relat e t o t hem in proport ion t o how 'beaut iful' t hey are and m ake t hem selves. Addressing t his t opic when speaking t o wom en is VERY powerful.
More lat er. Men are oft en behaving like ass kissers because t hey are afraid t hat a wom an m ight get upset and leave, and t he fact is t hat by act ing t his way, a wom an is MORE likely t o leave. I t 's one of t hose paradoxes t hat 's a self fulfilling prophesy. A wom an whines, m an say's " Oh, no I need t o kiss her ass or she m ight leave. Even t hough she's being ridiculous, I have t o go along wit h it This is very count er int uit ive, but again, we're dealing wit h fem ale hum an behavior, which has root s and drives t hat are com plex and oft en difficult t o t race.
The solut ion is t o NOT kiss ass or do t hings for t hem like everyone else. Be different. Expect t hem t o pull t heir own weight , call t hem on all of t heir issues and m essed up behaviors j ust like you would a guy friend or fam ily m em ber use t he sam e " you're m y friend and I 'm saying t his for your benefit " t one t hat you'd use wit h a friend t ease and m ake fun of t heir insecurit ies, refram e ot her m en who kiss t heir ass, and put beaut y in a new light as a curse et c.
The fact is t hat wom en will sleep wit h rich m en who kiss t heir asses and m odel- handsom e guys who don't t reat t hem well t o sat isfy t heir PHYSI CAL drives. But overall, an average looking m an t hat t akes good care of him self and m akes enough m oney t o live com fort ably who is cocky, direct , challenging, confident , funny, and in cont rol - one who challenges her const ant ly and never kisses her ass EVER - will be FAR m ore fulfilling t o a beaut iful wom an t han t he ot her t ypes.
This difference is not only int erest ing t o her, it 's challenging as well som et hing she doesn't experience oft en. A m an t hat does such will not only be able t o win her body - but also her int erest and fascinat ion - as well as keeping her m essed up behaviors m ore in check and st aying in cont rol of t he sit uat ion. Then ask t hem t o read t he last few pages of t his book and t o t ell you if t his is accurat e m at erial.
I f you're a doubt er, you won't believe t he responses you'll get. You'll also not ice out in t he real world t hat som e fort unat e m en have eit her looks, fam e, personalit y, or what ever t hat causes wom en t o nat urally act openly and recept ively t o t hem.
I f you're one of t hese m en, t hen congrat s t o you! I t m ay t ake a few m inut es of conversat ion, or even up t o an hour or so Rem em ber, at t ract ion has different roads t hat lead t o it. Som e are short cut s, and som e t ake a lit t le longer, are m ore challenging, and t hus t ake som e skill. But t here is a st ruct ure t o t he process, and if you learn t hat st ruct ure, you will be m ore successful.
Rem em ber t hat j ust about every t hought and behavior t hat a wom an has, no m at t er how lit t le sense it m ay m ake t o you, has som e posit ive int ent ion behind it. Dram a is oft en t o get at t ent ion. Jealousy is oft en a way of prot ect ing a relat ionship. Gam es are oft en used t o m ake sure t hat a m an is serious and willing t o invest energy.
So as you work t o becom e m ore successful wit h wom en, rem em ber t o not t ake t hings personally. Don't get discouraged if you encount er gam es, dram a and t hings t hat you don't underst and. I believe t hat underneat h it all, m en are usually t rying t o find wom en who will give t hem sex, and wom en are usually t rying t o find m en who will give t hem loyalt y and com m it m ent.
This has evolved over m any m illions of years, and t hese goals cont ain an obvious conflict of int erest. So j ust realize t his, and as you learn, rem em ber t o t ake t his int o considerat ion. And, of course, don't t ake any of it personally. Men have been dealing wit h all t hese sam e issues for a long, long t im e. I t 's very real, and it 's very pervasive in our cult ure. Let m e explain.
Most m en t hat I know have som e kind of 'feeling' t hat it 's wrong in som e way t o sleep wit h m ore t han one wom an at a t im e I 'm not even referring t o a Menage A Trios, eit her. I 'm t alking about plain old run- of- t he- m ill dat ing of a couple of wom en at a t im e here. But m ost wom en t hat I know have m ore t han j ust a 'feeling' about t his.
Most wom en are out spoken and very forward about t he idea t hat it 's WRONG for m ost m en t o dat e and sleep wit h m ore t han one wom an. You can see it in t heir faces and hear it in t heir voices when t hey t alk about it. I f you know what I 'm t alking about , give m e a silent nod here. What I 've discovered by doing m y hom ework is t hat t he m oral idea of m onogam y having only one part ner at a t im e has been form alized, passed down, and force- fed t o us cult urally by rulers, religions and wom en for t housands of years.
I don't m ean t o get t oo far out here, but I feel t hat underst anding where t hese beliefs cam e from and how t hey are prom ot ed will liberat e m any readers. Anywhere from hundreds t o t housands of years ago, rulers of lands kept large harem s of wom en. These harem s were guarded carefully t o prevent any m ales except t he rulers from having access t o t hese wom en.
The penalt y for sleeping wit h one of t he ruler's wom en could be, in an ext rem e case, your own deat h plus t he deat hs of everyone in your fam ily and village Back t hen t here were bigger risks involved! These rulers oft en had det ailed records kept so t hey could copulat e wit h only t he m ost fert ile wom en so as t o m axim ize t he wom an's chances of pregnancy and passing on t heir own genes. So what do you t hink t hese rulers did t o prot ect t heir harem s? They passed laws t hat t hey were exem pt from t o prom ot e m onogam y.
I n t hese t im es t here was a great short age of wom en, so t hese laws would discourage m arried m en t hose lucky enough t o find a wom an from seeking sex out side of t heir m arriage, and t herefore prot ect t he ruler's harem furt her. Next , we have t he church. Many religions prohibit sex, m ake sex 'wrong,' give it som e nam e wit h negat ive connot at ion like 'fornicat ion,' or in one way or anot her discourage it. I once heard a wise m an say " Religions t ake everyt hing t hat your DNA nat urally want s t o do t o survive and pro- creat e and m akes it wrong.
Well, if you're busy fight ing your int ernal drives, and you see God as t he only way t o cleanse yourself of t hese 'bad' t hought s, t hen you are a m uch bet t er SHEEP. I f you want t o get people t o follow you, first confuse t hem , t hen convince t hem t hat you know t he way t o get t hem out of t heir confused st at e. Finally, we have wom en. This is t he int erest ing one. I f you look at it from an 'econom ic' st andpoint , it doesn't benefit wom en at all t o have t heir m an running around having sex wit h ot her wom en.
She can only be pregnant wit h one child at a t im e, and she can only raise a lim it ed num ber at a t im e, so having a m an t hat 's out spreading his seed is BAD BAD BAD for business for her. When you're out spreading seed, you can't be working or hom e helping. Even worse, you m ight have ot her kids wit h ot her wom en which will divide your at t ent ion and incom e furt her.
By t he way, I 'm not saying t hat t here's anyt hing wrong wit h wom en's perspect ives. I 'm j ust saying t hat if you look at it from t heir point of view, t here's not a lot of benefit t o having a m an t hat likes t o sleep wit h a lot of wom en. Now let 's t alk about m en. My research leads m e t o believe t hat m en are 'nat urally' inclined t o have one m ain wom an t hat t hey are devot ed t o, but t hat t hey like t o sleep wit h ot her wom en as opport unit y arises.
You can believe what you want , but do yourself a favor and read Mat t Ridley's book " The Red Queen" before you st art speculat ing. Think about it. There are m aj or advant ages t o m en or at least t o t heir genes t o sleep wit h m any wom en. First , it doesn't t ake a lot of energy, and t here's not very m uch risk involved I realize t hat t here is risk of disease, et c.
I personally believe t hat m en are hard wired t o look for sexual opport unit ies and seek out sexual variet y. Let m e also add t hat j ust because you're hard wired t o like sweet foods doesn't m ean t hat you should eat only sweet foods. This will lead you t o sickness and event ually can lead t o disease and deat h.
Wit h t his in m ind, I 'd like you t o ask yourself: What are m y beliefs about m onogam y? Where did t hey com e from? Do I like m y beliefs? Do m y beliefs conflict wit h m y inner drives? Would I like t o change what I believe based on t his new inform at ion? I n any event , from now forward, don't let anyone or anyt hing m ake you feel bad because of your NATURAL desires and at t ract ion t o wom en. I 'm , of course, t alking about reasonable desires and at t ract ions. I f you like t o t hink about hurt ing wom en, underage wom en, et c.
My perspect ive is t hat sleeping wit h different wom en breaks no 'law of t he universe,' and it 's not an et hical dilem m a for m e. Any obj ect ions t hat are in exist ence were creat ed m ost ly t o cont rol, not t o liberat e. My perspect ive is also t hat it 's im port ant t o be honest wit h people about your views. And yes, t his m eans t alking t o wom en about t hem. I n m y life, I 've m ost ly had long t erm girlfriends. But if I 'm single, t hen I see not hing wrong wit h dat ing as m any wom en as I want.
Keep in m ind t hat t here are som e crazy viruses, diseases and ot her scary bugs t hat want t o j um p on your wiener. So use good j udgem ent. I 've found t hat if you explain t he t opic like I j ust have t o a wom an, you'll oft en show her a perspect ive t hat she's never even t hought of. My experience is t hat wom en act ually LOVE t o hear a m an t alking t his way. I t 's refreshing t o wom en t o hear a m an being open about t his cont roversial t opic rat her t han hiding his ideas.
But if you approach t he t opic caut iously and act like you're t rying t o see if she's OK wit h your views, you'll be seen as weak and insecure. I 've found t hat m ost wom en will accept you as you are. But if you t ry t o act like som eone t hat you're not , t hen you're found out , you will be t reat ed wit h disrespect and ex- com m unicat ed. Background: The girlfriends t hat I had in t he past were m ost ly from luck, now t hat I reflect on it. They were t here, and I felt lucky t o have t he opport unit y t o get t hem t o be m y girlfriend.
I say t his t o give you fram e of reference in relat ionship t o t he com m ent s in t his newslet t er relat ing t o looks, et c. When I m ade t he decision t o get t his part of m y life handled, I decided t hat inst ead of t rying t o st art wit h an angle working at a st rip club, becom ing fam ous for som et hing, et c. Think m art ial art s, playing an inst rum ent … anyt hing.
Read t he first chapt er of " Mast ery" by Leonard for m ore wisdom on t his t opic Sure, you can have som e success and fun while learning, but experience has shown m e t hat t o really 'get ' som et hing, and t o be able t o use it in m any cont ext s successfully, you need t o apply yourself for 2- 4 years. THEN, I t hink it t akes anot her 2- 4 years t o becom e a 'm ast er' of what ever you're doing.
I encourage you t o m ake t his a long t erm com m it m ent rat her t han j ust t rying t o get an inst ant cure. I t will be wort h it in t he long run. I f you're j ust plain lazy and want a short cut , go ahead and t ry all of t hem. But you'll m ost likely find, like m ost ot hers do, t hat m assive success wit h t his m at erial t akes pract ice, effort , and a com m it m ent.
Get a cool hair st yle I t 's OK t o ask a st ylist what 's cool and get help on t his one. Get on eBay, go t o t he Nordst rom Rack and look at t he clearance it em s. I did it t o begin wit h. My personal view: I f you're overweight , poorly groom ed, et c. Wom en not ice det ails t hat m ost m en don't. They not ice if your belt and shoes m at ch. They not ice what kinds of foods you like t o eat. They not ice all t he det ails, t hen m ake assum pt ions about every ot her area of your life based on t hese det ails.
So learn what nice shoes are, and how t o keep t hem nice. Figure out how colors and clot hing go t oget her and what is cool. Huge difference. But rem em ber t he old saying: " A blind pig can find an occasional t ruffle…" Of course, don't overdo it. I 've t ried t he whole dressing well bit in t he past , t o t he point of looking like I 'm t rying t oo hard. Now I dress m ore 'casual nice.
This look, wit h a nice leat her coat , works well in alm ost any sit uat ion. This is a look t hat you can put t oget her for a couple or few hundred bucks for several set s. I not iced recent ly t hat at least once every t im e I go out , a girl will ask m e for a light. I bought t his t orch light er t hat m ake a huge flam e.
I t looks like a welding flam e. So what do you t hink happened t he first t im e I went out wit h it? Right … got asked for a light … and got a 'wow' react ion from her, which st art ed a conversat ion. Keep all ot her hair t rim m ed, or have it rem oved. Nose and ear hairs are a no- no. Bushy eyebrows are a no- no. Bushy pubic hairs are a no- no. Get a t ongue scraper and use it a lot. Use m out hwash.
Fix any blat ant ly wrong t eet h. Do it. Dirt and body odors don't com e off wit h j ust a rinse. Wash your body com plet ely t hree t im es before you m eet a wom an. No foot odor is perm it t ed, period. And don't OVER- do it! No cologne is bet t er t han a lot of cologne. One or t wo squirt s, applied an hour before you're going t o be m eet ing wom en is best. Rem em ber, wom en not ice t he det ails and assum e you handle everyt hing else t he sam e way.
Self Image, Self Talk, And Other Self Stuff The way I see it , underpinning all of t hese out er det ails and t echniques is your self- im age, confidence, personalit y, and all of t hat ot her int angible st uff t hat t akes a bit t o get under cont rol. So let m e address how I got m y personal self- im age st uff t oget her before I t alk about what I do specifically. By t he way, t his is t he m ost im port ant part of t his book.
All of m y success has flowed from m y at t it ude and confidence - not t he ot her way around. So if you read not hing else, read t his. The Attitude When I first st art ed out learning how t o m eet wom en, I rem em ber t hat I had a feeling inside like " I 'm afraid t o j ust walk up t o a st range wom an and st art t alking. I 've since learned t hat none of m y worst fears would com e t rue when m eet ing a new wom an. I 've m et hundreds and hundreds of wom en over t he last few years - and none NONE!
Som e wom en are not int erest ed in m eet ing som eone right now. Som e wom en are lesbians and have no int erest in m en. Som e wom en are happily m arried or in a relat ionship and don't want t o m eet som eone new right now. Som e wom en are angry. Som e are cold. My guess is t hat in a random group of wom en, only about 30 of t hem m ight be open t o m eet ing som eone new right now I n a rom ant ic sense. And of t he 30 who are int erest ed in m eet ing som eone new, m aybe only 15 are nice, friendly, happy people.
Do you see where I 'm going wit h t his? I f you want t o be successful at m eet ing wom en, you have t o underst and t hat m any of t he wom en t hat you t alk t o aren't int erest ed. I nst ead of j ust m oving on t o t he next wom an, t hey get all upt ight and feel bad about it.
I 've now learned a bet t er way. I also learned som et hing else t hat helped m e dram at ically. I learned t hat wom en are used t o being approached, flirt ed wit h, and picked up on in general by m en. Even wom en who are what you m ight call 'average' are approached by m en on a pret t y regular basis.
So when you're about t o approach a wom an, keep in m ind t hat it 's not like you're going t o t ry som et hing t hat she's never heard of before and shock her. You m ay not be t ot ally com fort able yet j ust walking up t o any wom an, but she'll be relat ively com fort able wit h it.
And rem em ber, if she's not int erest ed, it 's m ost likely t hat she's not int erest ed in anyone right now. Of course it 's t rue t hat she m ight not be int erest ed in your 't ype' or you m ay have act ed in a way t hat she didn't like, but t he fact is t hat no m at t er what happens, you'll find t hat it 's no big deal.
When I first st art ed m y j ourney, I realized t hat som e of t he great est m em ories t hat m y friends and I have are when som et hing bad happened t o one of us. Looking back, we usually laugh about t hese t hings and m ake fun of each ot her and ourselves. So I t hought about it , and I realized t hat get t ing rej ect ed really harshly by a wom an would act ually be a funny t hing.
I im agined m y best friend and I saying " Hey, rem em ber t hat t im e when I walked up t o t hat girl in t he m all and said " Hi" and she t old m e t hat she doesn't dat e m e who look like Pee Wee Herm an? Ha ha ha ha They m ay not let you live it down, but at least you can laugh about it! And if you have friends t hat wouldn't help you laugh about it , t hen you need som e new friends Anot her part of t he at t it ude equat ion t hat I realized is t hat different wom en respond t o different looks, personalit ies, et c.
One wom an m ight only like m en who dress in suit s and t ies, while anot her m ight only like wom en who dress like bad boy rockers. The price of big success is having som e people dislike you. So once you find a st yle t hat works for you, st ick wit h it , and only change it because YOU choose t o! Having a problem? You need a new skill. I don't know why. I j ust can't do it. I f you're having a problem in a part icular area, get new skills t o deal wit h it.
Solut ion: A new skill. You need t o learn t he skill of get t ing wom en t o m eet you aft er m aking plans. There are m any part s t o being successful wit h wom en, and t hey all work t oget her. You m ay already know som e of t hem , you m ight learn a few m ore from t his book, but if you're m issing a key like how and when t o kiss a wom an, for inst ance you'll st ill keep running int o challenges.
Rem em ber, if you're having a challenge, you need a skill. So rem ind yourself of t his, and com e back t o t his book t o get t he inform at ion, t hen pract ice unt il you have t he SKI LL! Here's one exercise t hat 's helped m e t rem endously: First , I close m y eyes and im agine a pict ure of t he person t hat I want t o be.
I im agine how I 'll be dressed, t he expression on m y face, how I 'm st anding Then, I t hrow t hat pict ure up int o t he air and have it st art raining copies of it all around m e for as far as I can see Exercises like t hese som et im es sound silly, but t hey help direct your m ind t owards t he you t hat you want t o becom e. One area t hat I 've st udies ext ensively is what 's com m only called 'int ernal dialogue' or 'self t alk.
Most people are t alking t o t hem selves all day long. Negat ive self- t alk is, in m y opinion, one of t he prim ary causes of low self- est eem , giving up, and a lack of int erest in even t rying. This new belief will t ake on a m ind of it 's own, and st art creat ing it 's own self t alk. Most people who have negat ive beliefs also have negat ive self- t alk t hat creat es a self- fulfilling prophecy.
I m ay be t he first person t hat 's ever point ed t his out t o you, so it m ight sound a lit t le st range. I n any event , m ake a com m it m ent t o yourself t o st art t alking posit ively t o yourself and t o be encouraging from now on. Put it on your calendar. Send yourself em ails. Do what ever you have t o do so you rem em ber t o be nice t o yourself when you t alk t o yourself.
I f you're one of t hose people t hat likes being negat ive, arguing wit h everyt hing, finding why t hings can never work for you, and why everyone is wrong, t hen do m e and you a favor and delet e t his book from your hard drive, and em ail m e t o ask for a refund. You've m ade a choice t o be negat ive wit h yourself, and I 'm not even int erest ed in helping you see a bet t er way. People who have m ade t he choice t o be negat ive about everyt hing are usually playing out a dram a t hat 's beyond what I 'm int erest ed in addressing, and probably beyond t he power of a book t o change.
I f, on t he ot her hand, you are one of t he people t hat is willing t o give new t hings a t ry, t o say t o yourself " I can do som et hing if I choose t o" and " I can change if I really want t o" t hen I t hink you will be successful.
The key here is t o begin t aking a posit ive m indset and t alking t o yourself in a posit ive way. Here's an exercise for you t o do: Take out a piece of paper and writ e down all t he negat ive t hought s you have about yourself, and all t he negat ive t hings you say t o yourself, and all t he areas where a 'posit ive' out look would help you. Then, st art writ ing down posit ive t hings you can say t o yourself inst ead, and st art saying t hem. Keep working on t his unt il you st op saying negat ive t hings t o yourself.
This could t ake you years, like it did for m e. This one process will im prove all areas of your life, so use it everywhere. I t 's also im port ant t o m ake m ent al pict ures and rehearse t he success t hat you'd like t o have. As you're going t o sleep, m ake m ent al m ovies of yourself being successful in different kinds of sit uat ions and wit h different t ypes of wom en.
Ment al rehearsal is t he next best t hing t o physically doing som et hing. So do it as oft en as you can. I f you will m ake a m ent al m ovie of t he ideal you doing t he t hings t hat I 'm going t o t each you, and rehearse in your m ind every day, you will see im provem ent and result s. I f you don't do t his part , you'll be wondering why you can't seem t o get it right when you need it. Can you rem em ber a t im e when you felt happy and excit ed? Can you rem em ber a t im e when you felt powerful and energet ic?
Most people don't use t heir m em ories t o help t hem feel good because t hey say " Well, t hat 's not really how I 'm feeling, I 'm j ust im agining it. You m ight as well im agine it at t im es when you need it inst ead of having it happen on accident! Here's how t o use t his: Writ e down t hree st at es t hat you'd like t o be able t o put yourself int o anyt im e you'd like.
Then, writ e down t hree t im es in your life when you felt each of t hose st at es. For inst ance, if you'd like t o feel powerful and confident , while you're rem em bering t im es when you felt t his way, breat h out quickly while puckering your lips. I f you do t his process of rem em bering t he st at es and breat hing out quickly at t he sam e t im e, all you have t o do in t he fut ure is close your eyes, breat h out quickly while rem em bering t he feelings, and you'll have t he st at es t hat you want.
I t 's like having a push but t on for feeling good on your body. Next , you have t o pract ice put t ing yourself int o your t hree powerful st at es when you're in different environm ent s. So go different places, and pract ice get t ing yourself int o your st at es wit h dist ract ions, et c. This m ight t ake som e doing, but once you have it m ast ered, you'll be able t o get yourself int o a posit ive st at e when you're not feeling it t o begin wit h Could t his be useful when you're feeling shy or afraid t o m eet som eone?
I also st art ed keeping a personal j ournal of everyt hing t hat I was learning and doing, so I could reflect on it. This was t he biggie. I t was t he real world guys t hat were successful in t he real world.
Like I said, find about 5 different guys so you can get different perspect ives and see how it all fit s t oget her. By t he way, go read t he chapt er in Think and Grow Rich about t he Mast erm ind as well. So let m e ask you Are you looking for a one night st ands? Are you looking for a girlfriend? Are you looking for a wife? Are you looking t o get t his part of m y life called 'confidence wit h wom en' handled?
What is it t hat you'd like t o do? Once you choose an out com e for yourself, you can apply what you're learning t o t hat out com e. I f you have no out com e, t hen you're going t o be like a ship in t he ocean wit h no part icular port as your dest inat ion. Wit h no t arget , t here is a very sm all chance t hat you'll ever be successful.
Take a m om ent and writ e down your goal as it relat es t o wom en. Then t hink about t hat goal as you read t he rest of t his book. The idea here is t o give yourself a fram ework t o work wit hin and t hat you have t o plan. Failing t o plan is planning t o fail. I n sales, it 's m uch easier t o sell your product t o som eone who's called you and said " Can you help m e?
Here's m y prem ise: Wom en are at t ract ed t o m en for cert ain reasons and t hey go t hrough a specific sequence int ernally when t hey are at t ract ed t o a m an - t here is a syst em , a sequence, a code if you will. And once you know what it is, you can develop a m et hod t o creat e t his sequence m ore oft en. You can use t his fact t hat t here is a 'genet ic m at ing sequence' t o help you. Be Different In An Attractive Way By st udying m arket ing and sales, I 've learned t hat hum ans are at t ract ed t o t hings t hat are unique.
They are also at t ract ed t o t hings t hat are superior. So I have a phrase t hat I use: " Different in a preferent ial way. What I 'm about t o share wit h you is a group of ingredient s. These are t he different ingredient s t hat wom en are at t ract ed t o. I t 's up t o you t o t ake what you have, and t o use t his list t o augm ent your personalit y in such a way t hat it becom es at t ract ive t o t he t ype of wom en t hat you're int erest ed in.
The key is t o be different in an at t ract ive way. But m ake sure t hat you're not t oo different! I f you get t oo carried away wit h t his, you'll be out side of t he realm of 'norm al' and you will wind up hurt ing yourself. So experim ent and t est t o see what works for you. Your Enemy Is Insecurity and Neediness I nsecurit y and neediness are t wo of t he biggest obst acles t o success wit h wom en.
I nsecurit y and neediness are t wo sides of t he sam e coin. He shows t hat he's insecure when he ACTS on t hese needs. I nsecurit y shows up when a m an does not feel com fort able wit h who he is or com fort able in t he sit uat ion t hat he's in. He act s t ent at ive, weak, and unsure. He t ries t o put on a show of confidence t hat is obviously fake. He says t hings t hat are out of place in an at t em pt t o get approval.
Don't t ouch a wom an or crowd her t oo m uch in t he beginning. Wom en t ake t his as neediness and insecurit y. I nst ead, lean back and let her becom e com fort able being around you. I f you t alk t o m uch about past girlfriends or ot her wom en, or say negat ive t hings about t hem , a wom an will j udge you t o be insecure. I f it 's obvious t o a wom an t hat you will get upset about t hings easily, t hen she will j udge you t o be insecure. Wom en like it when you decide what 's going t o happen, t hen do it.
I f you are always asking " Well, what do you t hink I should do? Just m ake decisions and go wit h it. I f she has a different idea, she'll let you know. I 've known a lot of m en who t ry t o act cool or show off t o get at t ent ion. This t elegraphs t o a wom an t hat you're insecure and needy. Don't do it. I f you're cool, she'll figure it out wit hout you t elling her. This is m y favorit e. I f you're one of t hese people, j ust realize t hat t his is a clear dem onst rat ion t hat you're insecure and needy.
You m ay always be right , but being overly argum ent at ive is bad for your sex life. Deal wit h it. I have read som e int erest ing research t hat shows t hat wom en have a few m ain cat egories in t heir m inds t hat t hey slot m en int o. These are: 1 Not int erest ed at all. Here's t he int erest ing part : I f a wom an sees a m an as a good pot ent ial 'long t erm ' m at e, she'll usually hold back t he sex.
On t he ot her hand, if she get s sexually involved wit h a m an, she'll usually st ill be open t o a long- t erm relat ionship. Most m en who would like sex m ake t he m ist ake of doing t hings like t aking wom en t o dinner, buying t hem gift s, and being rom ant ic in general. This t riggers t he " Hey, t his guy is good long t erm m at erial" cat egory in t he wom an's m ind, and t hey hold back sex.
But if a m an does t hings t o t urn a wom an on earlier in t he gam e and she get s sexually involved, he can choose where he want s t he relat ionship t o go. Are you wit h m e on t his one? Go ask som e m en and wom en about t his. They'll report back t o you what I 'm t elling you. Wom en know t hat if a m an is doing all t he big rom ant ic t hings like buying her gift s and t aking her out t hat he is displaying 'court ship' t ypes of behavior.
I m ent ioned earlier t hat wom en t ake hint s very well and read int o t hings m uch m ore t han m en. Unfort unat ely, m en have no idea t hat t heir good deeds are being int erpret ed as long t erm court ship dem onst rat ions. So what 's t he solut ion?
This put s t he balance of power in your hands, and put s you m ore in cont rol. I 'm going t o say it again: A wom an will get int o a long- t erm relat ionship wit h a m an t hat she's sleeping wit h. But she won't be as likely t o sleep wit h a m an who's court ing her. Get it? How Men Usually Find Women I 've read several books on m at ing and court ship behavior am ong different species of anim als I ncluding hum ans!
The funny t hing is t hat hum ans do j ust about t he sam e t hings as m ost ot her anim als, wit h slight variat ions. I f you want t o m eet wom en, you have t o: 1 Decide what kind of wom an you want. Most m en t hat are failures wit h wom en aren't willing t o do what it t akes t o be successful. That 's t he bot t om line. I 'm going t o give you t he secret ingredient s t hat at t ract wom en and invit e you t o com bine som e of t hem wit h your personalit y in order t o at t ract t he kind of wom en t hat you're int erest ed in.
The quest ion is " Are you willing t o do t he work t hat it will t ake t o be successful? Now, num bers one t hrough five are largely out of your im m ediat e cont rol. I f you're not rich, you're probably not going t o get rich t his week. I f you're not fam ous or t all, you're probably not going t o be in a hit m ovie or grow 6 inches in t he next 24 hours. Fort unat ely, it 's t he one t hing you can change. Aft er you've done what you can t o look your best , et c. Now let 's t alk about how you can do j ust t hat.
By t he way, t he one qualit y t hat at t ract s wom en t he m ost and keeps t hem at t ract ed is not som et hing t hat t hey can init ially 'look' for. I t 's t he way t hey FEEL when t hey are wit h you or t hinking of you. I n t he end, if you don't have wealt h, power, fam e, or looks you're going t o have t o use your personalit y t o m ake t hem FEEL good.
I n t he end, your personalit y is t he m ost powerful weapon you have. Personality Traits That Attract Women I n t he next chapt er, I 'm going t o describe MY part icular unique personalit y and t he 'charact er' t hat I becom e when I 'm m eet ing wom en. But before I do t hat , I 'd like t o t alk about som e of t he different personalit y t rait s t hat wom en find m ost at t ract ive.
Som e are bet t er when used wit h ot hers, and som e don't work well t oget her. Here is t he list wit h brief descript ions. I 'll t alk m ore about com bining aft er. Hum or is j ust plain powerful wit h wom en. I f you can keep her laughing, you will go far. I nt elligence is sexy I F it 's used in a way t hat 's int erest ing t o her. Use your creat ivit y and int elligence t o surprise her wit h ideas, fant asies and unexpect ed t hings t hat charm her.
Educat ion is at t ract ive t o wom en as long as it 's used in an int erest ing way. Som e wom en are act ually int im idat ed by educat ion, as t hey're not educat ed This usually works in your favor. I f you have class, wom en pick up on t his.
Do your shoes and belt m at ch? Do you underst and int erior design and color cont rast? Do you know about different t ypes of wine? Do you like foreign m ovies? Do you underst and fashion? Do you like Frank Sinat ra? Do you enj oy exot ic foods? Do you open all doors for her? Wom en have an unconscious at t ract ion t o dom inant m en.
Sam e goes for hum ans. Wom en feel t he sam e am ount of good inside whet her it 's a card or a diam ond of course t he diam ond last s longer, so t here are m ore 't im es of feeling good! But t he fact is t hat wom en like t o know t hat you're t hinking about t hem. Even if you're t elling a wom an t hat you don't like it t hat she was out wit h anot her guy, she'll like it , because it m eans you were t hinking about her!
Wom en don't j ust not ice det ails, t hey USE t hem t o t ry t o be at t ract ive and at t ent ive. I f she is wearing a sexy out fit , she didn't put it on by accident. I f her hair is done nicely, it wasn't a fluke. Wom en are very im pressed and at t ract ed t o m en t hat not ice t hese det ails.
Here's a paradox. Wom en are drawn t o m en t hat t hey can't cont rol or predict. They obsess over guys who flirt and give t hem at t ent ion, t hen don't call t he next day. Then a wom an usually want s a m an who's VERY predict able. Not hing is a bigger t urn off t han a killj oy.
Som e m en get upset and pout when a wom an is happy, and t ry t o put down t he t hings t hat she enj oys t o sound superior. This is usually a HUGE m ist ake. Ent husiasm is infect ious and at t ract ive. Wom en are inst ant ly at t ract ed t o m en who like t o do ext rem e, advent urous, unusual, even dangerous t hings.
I t 's excit ing. Advent urism is sexy. Wom en love m en t hat know what t hey want and go aft er it. Passion is a sign of life. I 'm not t alking about t he kind of aggressive t hat t urns int o dat e rape. I 'm t alking about t he kind of aggressive t hat t urns int o set t ing a goal and t hen going aft er it wit h passion and get t ing it no m at t er what. Wom en are m agnet ically at t ract ed t o m en who are j ust a lit t le bit t oo cocky.
Just a lit t le bit. This is a t ough one t o explain. Many m en t ake t his t o m ean 'overly arrogant ' which is not what I m ean. Drives wom en wild. I f you're an expert in an area t hat is int erest ing t o your kind of wom an, t his can be at t ract ive. I t needs t o be present ed from a " I know a lot about t his, let m e show you" perspect ive, not a " I 'm cool and you're not " angle. Wom en like at t ent ion.
And int erest ingly enough, it 's bet t er t o hint at t he at t ent ion t hat you're giving t hem t han t o be t oo overt about it. I f you say " I was t hinking about you earlier t oday. And I j ust want ed t o m ent ion t hat I really like t he sound of your voice Most wom en are used t o being pursued by m en in one way or anot her. I f you are indifferent t o a wom an, m ake her t hink t hat you're only calling because you're bored, and act alm ost disint erest ed sexually, t hey'll oft en do t heir very best t o get your at t ent ion.
Different is good in t his case. Again, t his drives m ost wom en crazy, and even t hough t hey'd hat e t o adm it it , it 's ult ra int erest ing t o t hem. This is hard t o describe. Wat ch a Jam es Bond m ovie t o get an idea. And wat ch 'Dirt y Rot t en Scoundrels. Charm is powerful because it has a cert ain 'prince on a whit e horse' aspect t o it. I nst ead of j ust looking at t he surface of a wom an, he looks wit hin t o find t he beaut iful part.
A rom ant ic im aginat ion sees opport unit ies for poet ic com m ent s, int erest ing st ories, fascinat ing hist ory, and em ot ional int erpret at ion in everyt hing. This is im port ant , as wom en are const ant ly sending signals. I 'll t alk m ore in a lat er chapt er about t his. Wom en love sex j ust as m uch as m en do. But j ust like everyt hing else in life, a great lover is not easy t o find. Wom en becom e inst ant ly addict ed t o skillful lovers who know how t o m ake t hem feel ecst asy and t each t hem new ways of feeling incredible.
Every wom an is slight ly different. There is no one m agic syst em t hat every wom an responds t o. I f what you're doing doesn't work, don't t hrow out t he syst em The m ost successful m en I know will t ell you t hat t hey are only successful because t hey are able t o accept 'no' and not t ake it personally.
Again, unsuccessful m en t ake a 'rej ect ion' as a personal assault on t heir inner child. Don't m ake t his m ist ake. So st art right now. Take a m om ent and describe t he t ype of wom an t hat you'd like t o at t ract.
Then writ e down t he qualit ies t hat you t hink will at t ract her. Then go t o work cult ivat ing t hese qualit ies. The idea is t o creat e your own winning com binat ion and t hen find a place t o use it t hat has t he best chances of working for you. You want t o com e across as int erest ing, unique, original and desirable. By t he way, if you don't know what t he wom en t hat you're int erest ed in are at t ract ed t o, ASK!
That 's right , j ust walk up t o t hem whenever you see one, and say " Can I ask you a quest ion? I 'm sure t hat you're probably in a relat ionship right now, but will you t ell m e som et hing What do you look for? As a m at t er of fact , you'll even find t hat som e will help you in ot her ways if you ask. They'll go shopping wit h you, help you decorat e your house, help you choose a hairst yle But m ost guys are afraid t o ask, or t hey feel like a puss because t hey are asking a wom an for help.
Do yourself a favor. I f you are having t rouble, get help. Wom en are am azingly generous when t hey are helping a m an get his 'at t ract iveness' t oget her. I n lat er chapt ers, I 'm going t o t each you t he specifics of exact ly what t o say and do in different sit uat ions, but here I 'd like t o t each you som e basics about com m unicat ion t hat I t hink will really help you get t he right fram e of m ind.
At som e point in t heir lives, hot t ies began t o be t reat ed different ly because t hey were at t ract ive. Well, for t he record, I have no idea. Let m e ask you, if you were a wom an t hat want ed t o t est a m an t o see if he will st ay in cont rol, how would you do it? Wom en want a challenge. But , like anyt hing else, if t hese t echniques are used t oo m uch, t hey becom e wort hless… so t hey m ust be used wit h precision and at t he right m om ent s. Or t hey act nervous, et c.
But if you are going t o act t his way, you have t o keep it up unt il t he end… and I m ean t o t he end. How can t his be when I seem like such a ball bust er? I will surprise t hem wit h a t hought ful em ail, or a card… or I m ight give t hem a nice m assage… I open doors and walk on t he out side of t he curb… like I said in m y original em ail, I t reat wom en very well. Here are a couple of rules of t hum b t hat I use: 1. Never give a wom an a direct answer… unless t he answer is NO.
This is a big one. Hot wom en can have anyt hing t hey want. What t hey want is a challenge… som et hing t hat keeps t heir int erest. Hey, I used t o t hink t his way… but t hen I got a clue. Now, I pay very careful at t ent ion, and never let her have what she want s. Always send m ixed signals. Tell her I want t o be friends, and kiss her.
Tell her t hat what she j ust did was unaccept able, t hen go kiss her. Spank her if she does som et hing nice. Also, respond different ly t o t he sam e t hing. For exam ple, one t im e if she com es over and sit s on m y lap, I kiss her. Anot her t im e I push her off… get it? The t est is always " I s she laughing, sm iling, having fun m ost of t he t im e? I was wat ching Chris Rock doing a st and up rout ine recent ly.
Chris was t elling t he wom en in t he audience t hat anyt im e a m an is being nice, it 's because he's offering sex or 'dick' as he said. So if a guy says " Wow, you look great " what he really m eans is " Wow, you really look great , would you like som e dick?
I t 's really no fault of t heirs - even very handsom e m en are not orious for act ing arrogant. I t 's part of being a hum an. We can all becom e spoiled easily if t he right com binat ion of circum st ances arise. By t he way, it 's good t o keep a " You're spoiled, and I don't really blam e you for it Being spoiled, t hese wom en act brat t y t o get t heir way, but t he ass kissing and always get t ing t heir way also has anot her effect.
Since t hey are so used t o being court ed and having a m an kiss t heir ass, when you show up and act funny and charm ing, and don't play int o any of t heir gam es m ake fun of t hem , do t he pret end ass- kisser im it at ion, t ell t hem t hat t hey want you, t ease t hem , don't answer ANY of t heir quest ions about j ob, car, hom e, social, where you go, et c.
The hum or and arrogance arrogance based on a self- knowing, not an out er success or t rappings t hing keeps t heir at t ent ion. You can use t ricks or props or what ever, but you have t o int errupt t he wom an and first get her at t ent ion Many expert s t alk of get t ing rapport , act ing like t hem , et c.
I 've found t hat breaking rapport usually works bet t er for m e. Many people recom m end rapport t echniques when m eet ing wom en. But it 's a special kind of breaking rapport t hat I use. Her only real choices are t o respond int ernally and ext ernally wit h " This guy is a j erk, I 'm out t a here" or " You've got som e balls - but you're dam n funny - and for som e reason, I feel like I know you" When you point out a wom an's quirks or insecurit ies in a way t hat m akes her laugh, you do so m any posit ive t hings at once.
And she can't really hat e you t oo m uch, because it 's kind of fun. I used t o kind of wat ch what t hey were doing, and t ake cues on how t o act. Now I do and say what I want , and look for cues from her so I know when t o bust her balls.
I spent a long t im e learning how t o get phone num bers from wom en, only t o realize t hat t his wasn't t he sam e as success. Then, I learned how t o get wom en t o com e over t o m y house, only t o realize t hat t his wasn't t he sam e as success. I finally realized t hat I have t o lead t he way t he ent ire t im e - j ust like in ballroom dancing.
I have t o know where we're going, and lead t he way t he ent ire t im e. Not t he ot her way around. I 've st art ed laughing out loud at t hem. At first , t hey don't know what 's going on Give m e a break. I never get upset at t hem or let t hem get t o m e em ot ionally t his is key, because if t hey sense t hat t hey've found a but t on, t hey'll use it over and over again.
I f I like t hem , and lat er t hey prove t o be som eone t hat really am azes m e, t hen t his will be a possibilit y. My guess is t hat st rong, except ional, int erest ing m en who are in cont rol of t hem selves and t heir realit ies are as rare for wom en as super hot wom en are rare for m en. See where I 'm going wit h t his? Said different ly, " Why do so m any m en set t le for average or worse looking wom en?
I m ean, I know quit e a few ass- kicking m en - but t his is because I 've lit erally spent years finding and m aking friends wit h t hem. Most wom en aren't lucky enough t o run across one. And when t hey do, t hey usually m ess it up by being a bit ch or unint erest ing. So t hey j ust set t le for what ever t he best opt ion is at t he m om ent.
And t hey oft en wind up get t ing com fort able in t he process. I m ean, t hink about t he plot of m ost rom ance novels: Wom an m eet s wild m an, wom an t am es m an and lives happily ever aft er wit h her new well behaved BOY.
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It will come naturally. The best thing about the principles explained inside the book is that they all work when you are single or when you are married. Be a challenge, have standards and screen girls, be confident, be playfully cocky. A must-read for men. The more I use the attitude and tips that you wrote in your book, the more women respond to me. Who knew that you could actually learn to be more successful with women from a book?
And your two bonus reports are truly amazing. I just read your whole book last night, and I never felt so enlightened in all my life. There were so many things in it I realized before, but I never believed before I read your book. Then I thought about it and realized that way you said guys should act is the exact same way my friends who score a lot act.
David DeAngelo has figured out what genuinely works with women — no tricks, no games, no manipulations. Sign up for FREE membership! As Seen On. Dating Tips. Methodology of writing a commissioned research project by writers with experience from Writemypapers. Read more. Read More Articles on Dating Tips. Program Catalog. Double Your Dating eBook. Love The Final Chapter. Click Here for the Program Catalog. Meeting Women.
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